


Keep your eye on the prize, even if it changes.

by ausynja, Enigmaeneel, gameofdrarrymod



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Epistolary, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausynja/pseuds/ausynja, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigmaeneel/pseuds/Enigmaeneel, https://archiveofourown.org/users/gameofdrarrymod/pseuds/gameofdrarrymod
Summary: Draco is living in France near his mother and studying at Beauxbatons for his final year in school. In the spirit of magical unity, Hogwarts is holding an international competition for magical students (similar to the tri-wizard, but more skewed toward academics and higher study and less about who is better at not dying by dragon)  Draco is the Beauxbaton contender based on his scores and aptitude, but he is still afraid about going back to Hogwarts. Winning this competition could open a lot of doors for him, particularly with his past. He reaches out to Harry, the last person in the world he wants to speak to, but maybe the only person capable of helping him decide if he should risk coming home.





	1. Letter 1 - Draco

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the 2019 Summer Owlery Exchange. This is a work in progress in which the authors have been matched and will correspond back and forth anonymously as Harry and Draco for the duration of the exchange until reveals. Tags will be updated as the work progresses. Authors will be revealed at the completion of the exchange.

Dear Potter,

I know I’m the last person you would expect to hear from, and believe me, you’re the last person I expected to write to. But alas, here we are. 

I have a decision to make and I find myself in need of your help. Believe me when I say I have debated for many, many weeks about writing this but I fear I have no one else to turn to.

I’m unsure if you’ve heard (but I’m positive you have) that I moved to France to be with mother to continue my education at Beauxbatons as I didn’t feel it would be productive to attend Hogwarts. But now with the Oplyminds, I find myself stuck at a crossroads. 

You see, I have been chosen to represent Beauxbatons after studying a ridiculous amount and excelling at many exams. But that was before I knew it was being held at Hogwarts. I have yet to accept the position because I find myself unsure of how I will be received back at my alma mater. 

I find myself stuck because I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I don’t want to make myself a target for any attacks. While I am still remorseful for what I did, I fear that others will not be so understanding.

But attending this competition will open so many doors for me that I don’t think would be opened any other way. I know there are scouts coming to the competition from multiple wizarding universities from all over the world. I also know they are awarding scholarships at a few and I would love nothing more than to just get accepted into one so I can further my studies and train in becoming an unspeakable. It would allow me to continue making progress in righting my wrongs. 

So I find myself writing to you to ask for a favour to put some feelers out to see how it will be received, how I will be received, as well as asking you for your opinion. 

I know I am the last person who should be asking for anything from you but I find myself in a desperate situation. 

If you don’t wish to, I completely understand. Please don’t feel pressured. Hope you’re doing as well as expected. 

Kind regards, 

Draco Malfoy. 


	2. Letter 2 - Harry

Dear Malfoy,

Colour me surprised after I've received and read your letter. Just as surprised as I am now for actually replying.

I admit, for a few moments, I considered ignoring your request and leaving you to make this decision on your own. But I cannot ignore the courage it must have taken you to write me this letter.

If I am really the only one you think you can turn to, then who am I to stand in your way by refusing to help you. But before I get to your request', be aware that it is Hermione who has been chosen to represent Hogwarts.

If you find yourself unable to compete against someone you think inferior, don't come back!

If you find yourself still thinking of demeaning slurs when seeing her, don't come back!

Be aware that I will still do anything to protect my friends! (Even though you, too, know she can defend herself quite well.)

Now, I can't deny that other students here still don't think very highly of you. I mentioned your name and the reactions I got were … diverse to say the least.

I don't know how to describe it but none of them were actually threatening you. I think it was mostly over exaggerations of what they'd do but I believe they'd never act upon them. You know how Macmillan likes to boast.

Hermione was actually intrigued by the idea. You know, since you've left, there hasn't been anyone fit to hold a candle to her. None of us may have realised your intellectual talent over the years, but she misses the competition she had with you.   
You should have seen her eyes when I mentioned that you were the possible Beauxbaton representative.

In comparison, Ron wouldn't be as happy to see you again. Since he and Hermione hit it off, he's become overly protective of her (to her dismay). But that's the only reason. He doesn't want to see his girlfriend upset…

Weirdly enough, it is Luna Lovegood who is actually excited about seeing you again. You know her and how she is with people. You'd definitely have a friend in her.

All in all, no one was really opposed to seeing you again. Be mindful that people might be tense around you, but what else is new?

It was hammered (or literally cut) into me that I mustn't tell lies, so… I continue to be honest with you.

I had to step back from writing this letter for a bit to think about what I wanted to write next. You said you wanted my opinion. I'm not sure if I have already done that by telling you what the others have said. But I realise that's probably not what you wanted.

So… in my opinion…

You should accept the position and represent Beauxbaton in the Oplyminds.

I think you've earned it.

Come back and show everyone how you have changed.

Show  ~~ me ~~ them that the stuck up, arrogant prick you once were has recognised his own mistakes and is now ready to make the world a better place.

I can already hear you: "Potter, don't think you know me!"

Maybe it's wishful thinking that makes me write those lines.

Also… I think you should take the chance to show off your talents. (Yes, even I cannot believe I just wrote that.)

I mean, show your talents to the scouts. You should have a chance at your dream job just like everyone else.

"Potter, I don't need you to save me!"

I know, Malfoy, but just as you put your faith in me by writing your letter, be assured that I will promise you a safe stay. If anyone gives you a hard time back at Hogwarts, know that you have an ally in me.

Hope I've answered everything to your satisfaction.

I'm looking forward to hearing your decision.   
  


Best regards,

Harry Potter


	3. Letter 3 - Draco

Potter, 

You’re correct in assuming it took me courage, (such a Gryffindor trait) and I would hate for you to see just how many attempts I made at drafting this, only to throw them away.

The war changed everything. I know people are still suffering with the loss of family and friends, and others are suffering with the loss of their innocence. I’m not suffering per say, but I can guarantee you that I have changed. My views on life and the world around me have definitely changed. I no longer see muggle-borns or half-bloods, I see the person for who they are. A talented witch or wizard. Therefore I see Granger, who by all rights should win this championship, if not, at least I'm going to make her work for it. After all, I have the training of not one, but two elite wizarding schools in the world.

Granger being the Hogwarts champion comes as no surprise to me really, I can’t imagine going against anyone else. Not that I think others are... inadequate but not in the league you need to be at in order to compete. I am hoping as well that your conversing with me it isn’t causing issues between Granger and yourself. Granger can definitely defend herself, my face in third year can attest to that.  

But you are correct. Don’t think you know me, because times have changed. Just when you think you do I change the playbook. But you? I know you. You’re loyal to a fault although I admire your loyalty to your friends.  (I think because I never had anyone be loyal like that to me.) They say that loyalty is a Hufflepuff (cringe, I may have changed but come on, don’t tell me you don’t agree) trait, but you seem to break the mold of the Hogwarts houses. All of them actually.

You’re loyal like a puff, conniving like a snake, can sometimes be smart like a claw, especially in DADA, and definitely have the courage it takes to be a lion. Mother always did say they sort too early.

Macmillan is all talk. His bark is louder than his bite. As much as I hate to admit it, I also miss the competition from Granger. The others here, well while they are giving it their everything I feel that there is no real challenge here. I am in the top of all my classes here but I suppose that is also because their curriculum is different. Their year 7 work is Hogwarts year 5 work. I never realised how different it was from country to country, but anyway. 

While I can’t promise not to upset or hurt Granger unintentionally, I can promise to try. If you could please pass that on the Weasley I would appreciate it.

Lovegood is a seperate species of her own. But as she tells me in her letters she doesn’t hold me responsible for what happened in my dungeons. In saying that, I have also told her that I wish there was more that I could have done to help her and Thomas. No amount of reassurance from her will make that feeling of guilt go away. I must admit I am looking forward to seeing her as well

People have always been tense around me, I just sincerely hope that they can look past that if I decide to participate in this competition.  Your reply made me feel… ~~confused~~ ~~.~~ vindicated in my concerns about coming back.

Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me Potter, and I thank you for expressing them. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you feel I can do it. ~~,~~ ~~now I just need to curb this need to do you as well.~~

There are many talents you don’t know I possess.  ~~yet but give me a chance and I can show you them.~~

I am sincerely grateful to you taking time out of what is no doubt a busy schedule to assist me in my concerns.

Is there any chance we could perhaps begin a tentative friendship ~~and then perhaps more~~ ? I would love to show you that I really have changed and ~~can be worthy of your love~~ for the better but I also understand if we can’t. It’s a lot to ask.

Also if you could please pass on my apologies for now to Granger and Weasley and please explain that ~~if~~ **when** I come back for it then I will apologise in person to both them and you personally, if you are willing to give me a chance. If not again, I also completely understand.

I hope your classes aren’t too hard and that you’re not overbearing Granger with your homework because Merlin knows she's going to need her Smarts about her when she goes up against me.

 

Kind regards,

D. M.


	4. Letter 4 - Harry

Dear Malfoy,

I hope replying to my letter didn't need as many drafts as the first, now that there's no need to worry about anything.   
I also regret what I have said and thought about you. I realised that I, too, have had my prejudices, which took some time to overcome.

  
So, you're not the only one who has changed and who has seen his own mistakes and learnt from them.   
  
Don't worry about talking with me, there's nothing I could tell you that would give you any advantages. I don't know how much I want to talk about our letters and what we write to each other about. Not that I want to keep  _ this _ a secret, but this is something… I don't know, just for me. Something only between you and me.

It's something I don't want to share with anyone.

  
So yeah, this may be my confession that everything you tell me stays between us. Except for the stuff you ask me to tell them of course.

  
On that note, I passed on your apology. Or the promise of an apology. Ron seemed rather indifferent about it. Hermione asked me to tell you not to worry since she will accept your apology.

  
As will I.

  
We will give you all the chances you need. I feel like you've never been given enough chances in your life…

Hey, you make it sound so bad that I possess all the best traits of every house. I feel rather honoured to receive such praise from you.

  
And I agree with your mother, the Sorting Hat couldn’t decide whether to put me in Gryffindor or Slytherin. As much as I am sure I made the right decision to choose Gryffindor, I am wondering now just how differently everything could have gone…

You have a point there, I might be loyal to a fault to my friends. Not only my friends but to my enemies as well. You wouldn’t believe how often you were on my mind, how often I wanted to find out what you were up to, what insidious plan you were pursuing.   
To me, there was no one else capable enough to devise such elaborate schemes.   
You and Hermione, you two are the only ones clever enough to fool the entire school.

That’s also why I'm sure you'll make Hermione “work for it".

What confuses me is, Beauxbaton may be a great elite wizarding school, but if their year 7 is Hogwarts year 5 work, do they even teach you enough to compete?

Although, if I may assume again, you probably do enough extracurricular work to give the other contestants a run for their money.   
I expected nothing else from you. You're ambitious. Truly a Slytherin.

Back to your letter, sorry. Luna came by and it sounds like she wants to throw a welcome back party. I don't know if this is meant to be a surprise party, so please, if it is, act surprised!

  
I helped her plan it for a while. I was curious about her imprisonment after you mentioned it in your letter, so I asked her about it. She told me a bit about what happened and how she believed you to be a prisoner yourself. Maybe not confined by metal bars but…

Well, I've seen it. And you. And I guess, I still owe you.   
  


Friendship is the least I can offer you. I don't know what you mean by "more", but I'm up for everything!   
  
Especially now when you talk about how you've changed, and all your talents.   
From just our exchange, I noticed you're not the same person I used to know until a year ago. You don't just deserve my love, but all of our love!

And please don't remind me about homework or school. I know I might have a busy schedule, but replying to you was a priority. It also lets Hermione assume I'm doing homework… which I still need to do… Well, helping me with my homework will be good practice for her. Practice, yeah, that's what I'll tell her.

Best wishes,

Harry


	5. Letter 5 - Draco

Potter,

 

Surprisingly the last letter didn’t require multiple drafts, only what I crossed out that I now see you could still read. 

 

I told the headmaster that I will be participating in the tournament. I just hope I’ve made the right choice by coming back, and if anyone has a problem they just keep it to themselves. I had to speak to the aurors as well to see if I was able to come back as well but there was no mention of me not being able to return to Hogwarts in my conditions. It’s going to be hard, I know that much. I’ve already had quite a few panic attacks over coming back, but probably not for the reasons you would think. 

 

Everyone has prejudices instilled into them, even inadvertently. But if there was one thing the war taught us, well me, is not to judge a person by their cover, or house. You never know what an individual is going through behind the scenes. You’ll never hear me repeat that Potter,but I have changed. I’m not where I want to be exactly, but I’m getting there. 

 

Are you ashamed of me Potter? Is that it? Because I won’t be anyone’s dirty little secret. I’ve done that too many times before and it’s usually me that gets hurt. Although, I suppose if you told anyone we were communicating they would probably have you committed to St Mungos. It’s not like I have anyone to tell, being who I am, not many people, (okay no one) like me at this point. They just tolerate me. 

 

But I do appreciate that you will keep everything to yourself, it’s like having my own confidant. I’ve never had anyone to confide in except a diary. I could have used someone in sixth year, but hey. 

 

Do you have any tips on what not to say to aggravate Weasley? I don’t want to make it worse before it gets better. I also want you to realise Potter, I’m serious about this. I want us to make a real go at being friends. 

 

Of course you should be honoured, I don’t feel I’ve ever paid you a compliment so openly. I usually hide them in insults and watch as you try to work out if I insulted you or complimented you haha. 

 

Wait, 

 

The hat wanted to put you in Slytherin? And you’re wondering what could have happened? We could have been friends from the beginning, except for the fact you rejected my hand. Can I ask though why you chose Gryffindor? Was it because of me? (Wow I just re-read this and realised how self-centred this sounded, it wasn’t meant to sound that way, I promise) 

 

You were on my mind the majority of the time. I was always for your attention, wondering what you were doing, why you were laughing, what you looked like when you were sleeping,  ~~how you sounded when you come~~.

 

Well evidently not if I’m representing the school Potter. I’ve only been here a few months and already been picked? 

 

Stop assuming you know me Potter! I don’t even know me half the time, what hope have you got? But again, (as much as it aggravates me) you are correct *shudders*. I feel like all I do here is study, especially in potions. I need to prove myself to well, everyone. 

 

A welcome back party?!? POTTER! Have you lost your mind! Who would want to welcome me back? There will be two people there. Luna and potentially yourself, but then again, you don’t want people knowing that we’re speaking so anything’s possible. No. No party. Talk her out of it. Please Potter? I can’t do crowds (even though two is hardly a crowd) and I just want to come back, do what I have to do and leave again. 

 

As for not being a prisoner with bars, there are things worse than physical bars Potter. You of all people should know that. 

 

I have talents that I would love to show you one day. My hands are pretty talented, and I certainly know how to use my mouth. 

 

I’ve always admired you Potter, I’m sure that’s no secret. But on the basis of friendship and building said friendship I feel the need to be honest. My last sexual partner was a guy. 

 

I am gay. It’s common knowledge now, especially when I came out to father. I just felt you needed to know so you don’t think I’m hiding things to try and suck you in. 

 

I sincerely hope Granger didn’t believe that bull you sprouted about helping you with your homework is helping her. How in Merlin’s name did you make it this far Potter? Has Granger done all your homework every year? I’m ashamed. 

 

Write me back.

 

Draco. 

  
  


P.S. it's a habit to break, I know, but it’s Draco, Potter, not Malfoy.  ~~ (Although Draco Potter-Malfoy I could live with too.)  ~~

 

P.P.S. I know I’m jumping ahead here but did you want to get dinner one night in Hhogsmeade when I come for the tournament? 

 

P.P.P.S (I don’t even know if that’s the right amount of P’s) no drafts for this letter either. 


	6. Letter 6 - Harry

Dear Draco,

What? … You're what?   
I'm sorry, I must have missed that if it’s common knowledge. Please don't think I'm in any way opposed to it… you. I mean… it does make some sense or at least it does to me, I mean… I don't know, it somehow changes quite a lot. The past, now that I’m thinking about it. Not in a bad way or anything! It's just… looking back… I feel so embarrassed now! And dumb!   
Were you flirting with me? The "more" and "worthy of love"?   
Merlin, I'm so dumb!

Now that I think about it, at least some of your insults have been disguised compliments… were you hitting on me back in our school days?   
I mean… you always insulted me.   
You were always around when something happened. You dressed up as a Dementor, you were taunting me that  I'd be expelled for receiving my Nimbus, Merlin, you were paying more attention to me than the snitch!   
Were you... actually… uh, hitting on me all this time? I just can’t believe I didn’t realise it sooner.

As for not talking about our letters with anyone, it was a misunderstanding. Because, no, you're not my dirty little secret! And I am not ashamed of you!   
I just want your attention all to myself!   
That's why I don't want to share anything we write. I don't want anyone to interfere or tell me what to write to you. I'm sorry, it came out wrong.

All in all, I'm not ashamed of you! I don't mind people knowing about us writing to each other, meeting up, and so on. And if anyone's got a problem with you, they've got to deal with me, too!

I'm sorry to hear you're having panic attacks. May I ask, what are the reasons?

I'd be careful with diaries!   
You remember 2nd year when your father gave Ginny Weasley a diary with a piece of Voldemort's soul?! Since then I'm wary of them. Tried it once though, or rather a similar version. When Ginny broke up with me, I used to write letters to her, but never sent them.   
Helped me clear up some things.

With Ron, I'd say to not rise to his teasing. He'll probably make a few offhand remarks. Just ignore them or answer them calmly and tell him the truth. Depending on what he says… I don't really know what to tell you. If you want, I'll be around him to keep him in check, tell him when he's gone too far.   
I want all of my friends to get along.

And Hermione didn't buy my excuse. She never did our homework. We did it ourselves, Ron and I, but she always looked over our homework and corrected our mistakes. She forced us to study with her for every exam, so yeah. Don't know how we would have managed without her!

I didn't choose Gryffindor because of you.   
I was told repeatedly that Voldemort had been in Slytherin and that the people who were in that house were evil. At eleven you easily believe what people tell you and that everything is black and white.   
You know I've been raised by my uncle and aunt along with their son. They didn't like me, I'm sure they hated me because I'm a wizard. Every time I showed the tiniest bit of accidental magic I got severely punished. I was lucky when they locked me into the cupboard under the stairs for a month, only letting me out for pee brakes. Worst case, they locked me into the cupboard without food and drink for days.   
At Muggle school my cousin and his gang of nasty friends bullied me. Chased me around the schoolyard only to beat me up. I didn't have any friends, because they were afraid of my cousin.

Okay, maybe you were accidentally part of my decision. You came by our train compartment, flanked by Crabbe and Goyle; a bully and his gang. You weren't nice to Ron so you confirmed my suspicions about Slytherins being mean, too.   
I just wanted friends. I didn't want someone to tell me who the right kind of people were.

Now that I'm older I know that people are not simply black and white. That you may have wanted me as a friend but didn't know how to approach me better. I'm no better myself. I should have reacted differently. Many things could have gone another way.

Why did you want to be my friend anyway? We'd only talked once before the train to Hogwarts in Madam Malkins and we didn't talk much. You didn't even know who I was.

Luna found a few more people who would like to come to that party. We're six so far. I think most just want to come because it's a party and because Seamus said he'd bring enough Firewhiskey for everyone. Merlin knows we all just need some reason to party, to forget the recent past and just  live .

But I told Luna that you didn't want a welcome back party. She wasn't happy but she accepts your reasoning and understands you.   
Crisis averted.

'Suck you in'. Hehe

Jokes aside, as I said at the beginning of my letter that I don't judge you or anyone for who they love.   
In fact the reason Ginny split up with me was because I may have been looking a bit too often at the waiter in her favourite cafe.   
So, I, uh… hope I wasn’t wrong and didn’t make a complete fool of myself… and that you have been flirting with me.

I may have acted dumb, because I didn't want to hope. Since I've had time to think about what and who I like, I've come to know that I don't seem to have a preference. What I also realised is that my obsession with you might not only have been grounded in rivalry.  You see, I'm not ashamed of being seen with you. I think I actually want to be seen with you.

So, I'd love to get dinner with you.

Harry

P.S. yes, I add one, too. You may have noticed that I haven't addressed everything you've written, but some of your words just left me speechless.   
Also… show me one of those mouth talents so you can stop wondering about some sounds.


	7. Letter 7 - Draco

Dear Harry, 

 

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply but the stress of everything got to me and I ended up in the Infirmary on strict bed rest. I’ve had zero energy and found myself sleeping all the time which was definitely not my idea of fun. How in Merlin’s name did you spend so much time in here? 

 

Anyway. 

 

Potter, I have a serious question for you. How many people would YOU climb up a tree for just to get their attention? Because I am telling you now, you’re the only one I’ve ever done that for. Of course you’re worthy of love! I always told you that, it’s not my issue if you chose to ignore what I said. 

 

Looking back I feel as though I did half the things I did to you and your friends because I wanted your attention, even if it ended up being bad attention. It helps too that when you get angry your eyes light up just so and you drag your hand through your hair, messing it up even more so. You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I wished it was indeed my hand running through your hair giving it that freshly shagged look. Of course, I could give you the freshly shagged look by doing… well, actual Shagging. 

 

Of course I watched you more than the snitch! Have you seen your arse in a quidditch uniform? ? Because I am telling you now that it should be the 8th wonder of the world. No one ever said you were smart Harry, and well in your defence (and I will never repeat this) you did have a dark lord maniac trying to kill you. I suppose I can forgive you for being oblivious. 

 

Ah but Potter, there are somethings that are worth being kept secret. Like perhaps the first three paragraphs of this letter. I don’t mind people not knowing what we’re writing to each other, I just don’t want to hide the fact we’re... friends? I guess is the word for now? 

 

The panic attacks are difficult to explain. It could be something simple, like a spell in DADA or something larger like dementors. One trigger that always affects me is fire. I mean, it’s justifiable but I just feel a little stupid about it I guess. It’s fire, fires are everywhere. The floo network works  through a goddamn fire. It’s something I’m trying to work on but it’s difficult. It’s like when something happens I transport back to the war and I’m there again. It’s harder here too I think, because the war hardly touched France, very few people understand. I think it would have been easier at Hogwarts, even just a little, because everyone has been affected in one way or another. 

 

But I’m also petrified about coming back. I just know there’s going to be a lot more that triggers me there because it did touch everyone there. Catch 25 (isn’t that the muggle saying? Probably not.) 

 

I don’t want to seem like I  _ need _ you there but I would appreciate it if you could be while I spoke to Weasley. And Granger too come to think of it. Not to necessarily say anything, just moral support? 

 

Moving along the next portion of your letter, Harry, that’s abuse. Did you report it to anyone? Or was it something you martyr self thought was insignificant? Surely if professor Dumbledore knew he wouldn’t let it continue would he? 

 

I wasn’t trying to be mean that day on the train. I grew up always believing that no matter what I wanted I would get it because I was a Malfoy. Father always said “Because the Malfoy name is held so highly in circles of society, if you say dance, everyone dances.” All I ever wanted was to be your friend because you were the first person I spoke to that wasn’t chosen by my father but chosen by me. Father always chose who was worthy of my time and I hated it. Then I said dance, but you didn’t dance and that confused me. It went against everything I had ever been taught. 

 

So I do apologise Harry. I know I’ve done it before but sincerely I am so sorry for all the pain and crap I put you through. 

 

I’d love to suck you in, right down to the hilt while swiping the head of your cock with my tongue, making you experience pleasure like nothing before, relaxing my gag reflexes, and taking you all the way in. Then I would summon the lube wandlessly, scooping some out of the jar and reach back to prepare myself for you while still sucking your cock. I’d get you right to the edge when you’re about to come, seconds away and pull off, not allowing you yet. By then I will have been riding 3 of my fingers so that when I sit up I can straddle your thighs and slowly sitting your hard cock until you bottom out and I can feel you pressing hard against my prostate. Then slowly I start to lift and lean down to sloppily kiss you as I’m groaning and moaning because it feels so good. I ride you like the Hogwarts express and speed up only to get us both to the edge and stop. I keep this going until we’re both hot, sweetly and all around a god damn mess. My hands run through your hair, giving it that look I was talking about before, I can’t take it anymore and I ride the absolute fuck out of you, feeling your come spill to coat my insides and that’s what makes me come buckets. 

 

Is that a good enough way to hear those sounds from you? Because Merlin knows I’ve dreamt of it enough. 

 

Dinner. Will definitely organise dinner, as long as you check me out and not the waiter. 

 

I’m pretty sure we arrive on Friday week so perhaps the first weekend we could go to Hogsmeade? That is, if you’ll let me out of the bedroom ;) 

 

I’m actually quite excited now because it’s getting closer. Although I do wonder, how are we going to play this? I am feeling a tad trepidatious about it if I’m honest. 

 

Hope to hear from you soon,

 

All my love. 

 

Draco xx

  
  


P.S. I don’t think I addressed everything but my brain is muddled from the sickness and the image I created in my head so I’m going to leave this here. 

  
  



	8. Letter 8 - Harry

Dear Draco,

Could you please give me a warning next time?! It's really embarrassing to get a boner in the common room, with everyone around. I must have moved or looked guilty because Seamus looked like he must have noticed at least something. He made some comment about something from six to midnight.  Luckily he thought himself so funny that he fell off his seat laughing, so no one took him too seriously.

Can't stop thinking about it though. Blimey! It was reason enough for a lot of needed  _ Muffliato _ spells in our dorm!  Trust me on that one!

But I'm gonna sound like a creep if I keep on thinking about your… well, wet dream inducing description.

I hope this letter finds you well and outside the infirmary. Please don't stress yourself too much about anything!  It's easier said than done, I know. But try not to get too stressed that you end up not coming. That would make me sad as I am really looking forward to our meeting.

Honestly, I cannot care less about the Oplyminds at the moment!

And as for how I survived being in the hospital wing this often... Ron and Hermione came by all the time. At least, when I was awake.

I've wondered for a long time why you'd climbed that tree. But then I always thought you were so extra, thought yourself above all of us and used to mock us further.  I thought it was meant to infuriate and insult us even more.   
I mean, come on, mocking the fact that I stayed at Hogwarts over every holiday because I had no parents.  But really, I was just so happy that I didn’t have to go back to my relatives.

No, I didn't know it was abuse! I was raised like this. I was raised to believe my cousin to be the prince of the household. Of course as I got older I realized the unfairness. But what can I do when he's bigger than me?!   
And if I were to even pluck a hair from his ugly pig face, I would have been in for a much more severe punishment.

And Dumbledore knew about it. Still he insisted for me to stay because of some stupid blood magic that kept me safe from Voldemort.

And yes, if it means I have to die to save the entire wizarding world, I think myself to be insignificant! What is my life compared to a thousand others?

Eleven years of my life I have been treated like dirt under someone's shoe.  How can I think, no, believe that I am worthy of love, if it were denied from me for so long?!

Honestly, I still cannot believe it!  Cho only went out with me after Cedric had died. Ginny's been infatuated with me since the day she first saw me on the platform, because I was famous.   
So how much of our relationship was her wish fulfillment and how much actual love?

And what about me?  Did I love her or just the thought of becoming part of the first family which showed love and compassion towards me?

You don't have to answer that!  Best not to answer that!

Just when I thought my life would get easier, it doesn't.  I've been exposed to my imminent possible death for seven years. I never believed I would survive it.

Now I have to really think about what to do with my life. And whom to spend it with.  Now, that there is no maniac wizard trying to kill me.

I'm sorry I came on so strong. Guess it's a topic to avoid, at least for a while.  I want this, no,  _ us _ to work out.  Whatever that is right now or what it'll become.   
I want it to be without expectations, which will end only in disappointment.  "Friends" might be the word for now.  And I'm sorry if that disappoints you.

Believe me, I really want to fuck your brains out! Over and over again!  Heck, you'll have trouble walking when I'm done with you.  And that's a promise!

Sorry, I needed a break, where was I?  Ah yes, your compliments.  No, I've never seen my ass in a Quidditch uniform. Next time I'll give it extra attention.

You'll decide when and how you'll talk to Ron and Hermione. I'll be there for moral support whenever you need me. Just drag me along as soon as you feel like it.  As long as it's not in the middle of the night!

So, when you say dance, this time I will.

Also, as you'll be here in a few days, if you don't mind, tell me in advance if there's anything I could do, to prevent you from any panic attacks. As it is summer there won't be many fires lit. But if there's anything else I could do, please let me know.

McGonagall doesn't tell us how you'll arrive but if Beauxbaton uses the same horse-drawn carriage as in fourth year… don't expect me to run into your arms.  Hope it's okay for you for us to play it cool for a bit.

You can sit with us during the feast if you want. I would very much like that!  Also, don't think so lowly of me! I may want to tear all of your clothes off your body and see you all in your glorious nakedness and let you ride me into tomorrow, but buy me dinner first! Or at least a drink!

And I am sure you know a lot of ways to make me forget about any waiter or waitress or any other person around!

Although, I have to warn you.  Since I "saved the world" I can hardly take a step outside the castle without having at least a couple of reporters around.  If you don't want your face plastered over the front page of the Prophet the next day, it's okay. We can have dinner somewhere quiet in the castle as well.

All in all, let us take this easy.  No planning. No expectations.  Arrive with your Beauxbaton classmates, sit with them if you have to. If not, come over for a chat. I'll save you a seat!

If it is strictly intended for all of you to sleep in that carriage and not be around for further contact, I'll see you at breakfast on Saturday.

Love

Harry

P.S. it's interesting to see you use a muggle idiom, the winky face and even the 'xx'

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos to show some love for the pen pals!


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